


EPISODE 10: Good Luck Lottie - Skam NT Season 3

by 12_Month_October



Series: Skam NT Season 3 - CHARLIE [11]
Category: Original Work, SKAM (Norway), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: (also yes Via is wiccan and i think that's very valid of her), (and kind of clip 2 as well), 3x10, BIG TW for discussions of depression referenced disordered eating discussions of self-harm, BIG tw for depictions of distress and panic attacks (in clip 1), Gen, HELLO LADS ARE Y'ALL READY FOR AN ENTIRE EPISODE IN ONE NIGHT, Jasby content?? Before the final episode?? More likely than you think, SKAM Season 3, and suicidal ideation (in clip 4), back at it again with the heartbreaking parallels, communication time babey!!!!, episode 10, halloween time halloween time halloween time!!!!!, i love the houseshare kids they're Right, protecc :(, tw for discussions of depression (in clip 3), tw for discussions of financial and physical abuse (in clip 5), tw for discussions of outing and homophobia and cw for sex references (in clip 6)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27310090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/12_Month_October/pseuds/12_Month_October
Summary: Charlie Walters knows she's hated. She just wants everything to herself, so she can keep up her perfect facade. But it's never enough, and she's still stuck at Greenhill - further apart from her twin than ever and resitting nearly all her exams.When she ends up in the same form class as the charismatic new girl, she's determined not to fall back into old habits from the spring. But it's going to be more difficult than she imagines.Real-time air: 26/10 - 31/10/20First clip: I Need To Know (Monday 03.53)
Series: Skam NT Season 3 - CHARLIE [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817566
Kudos: 8





	1. Monday 03.53 - I Need To Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Happy Halloween if you're celebrating! And a friendly reminder to please check TWs on clips (since this episode will be a full upload)!!
> 
> That said, TWs for this clip are depictions of distress and panic attacks and there's a summary in the end notes. Stay safe y'all <3

INT. The living room in Saphy's house. CHARLIE is still awake, pacing up and down the room, looking down at her phone. Her recent calls are full of calls to an unknown number. Beat. She sighs, giving in, and hits the call button on the unknown number once again. She holds it to her ear as the dial tone starts, shaking slightly. The call accepts.

HOSPITAL _(v/o)_

Cramlington Emergency Hospital, how may I help you?

CHARLIE _(slightly worried)_

Um, I'm calling on behalf of Eloisa Martañez Araujo-

HOSPITAL _(v/o, interrupting, annoyed)_

Not you again-

CHARLIE's face falls, and she starts to pace again.

CHARLIE _(worried)_

 _Please_ \- Is there _any_ information you can give me?

HOSPITAL _(v/o, authoritarian)_

Only immediate family have access to information. Unless you can prove you are, please stop calling back.

Tears spring to CHARLIE's eyes again.

CHARLIE _(worried, slightly tearful)_

 _Please_ ?! I _need_ to know!

HOSPITAL _(v/o, authoritarian)_

Stop calling, or we'll block your number. Goodnight.

The hang-up tone can be heard. CHARLIE shoves her phone in her pocket and crashes back down on the sofa, her breathing quickening. She wipes the tears from her eyes roughly, scowling.

LILY _(offscreen)_

Charlie?

CHARLIE _(irritable, tearfully)_

Fuck off.

LILY enters the room, folding her arms. CHARLIE looks surprised to see her, again, wearing pyjamas.

LILY _(slightly annoyed)_

I'll fuck off when you come to bed.

CHARLIE scoffs. LILY suddenly scowls.

LILY _(annoyed)_

You know what? I fucking quit. It's four in the morning, Charlie. Get a life.

CHARLIE's face falls, and she does a double-take. Tears spring to her eyes. She tries to brush them away and control her breathing - neither successfully. LILY looks slightly concerned. She opens her mouth to say something, but CHARLIE interrupts her.

CHARLIE _(tearful, irritable)_

I'm _fine_!

LILY gives her a Look. CHARLIE falters, then bursts into tears, starting to hyperventilate.

CHARLIE _(tearful, sobbing)_

I- I'm- Sorry- I can't- Breathe-

LILY looks extremely concerned, and goes to touch her shoulder. CHARLIE jerks away, sobbing harder.

CHARLIE _(tearful, sobbing)_

Don't- To- Touch- Me-

She buries herself into the corner of the sofa, growing even more worried as the hyperventilation worsens. Static audio starts to build up around her, LILY's voice faint.

LILY _(offscreen, distant, concerned, authoritarian)_

Breathe, okay Charlie? Just try to breathe, you can do it-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary:  
> Charlie is still awake, pacing up and down the living room. She seems to have called an unknown number several times. She tries again, and the call goes through - revealing the number to be that of the nearest A&E. Charlie asks about Lou, and the receptionist exasperatedly responds that it’s her again. Charlie gets increasingly distressed, telling the receptionist that she needs to know; the receptionist tells her to stop calling before hanging up. Charlie starts to hyperventilate, but she brushes it off. Lily enters the room, concerned; before Charlie tells her to “fuck off”. Lily says she will when Charlie comes to bed. Charlie scoffs, and Lily snaps - stating the time and telling Charlie to “get a life”. Charlie’s hyperventilation worsens, clearly a panic attack now. Lily goes to say something. Charlie firmly states that she’s fine; before bursting into tears, clearly unable to stop the panic attack. Lily tries to help her; first by touching her (Charlie moves away), then by trying to encourage her to breathe properly.


	2. Monday 11.27 - Mental Health Day

INT. Charlie and Lily's bedroom. CHARLIE is still curled up in bed, half-asleep. LILY can be heard in the hallway.

LILY  _ (offscreen, distant) _

...I can take unpaid leave, yeah, but can't you just… ? I don't know - surely this counts?

She starts to wake up slowly, turning onto her back and staring up at the ceiling.

LILY  _ (offscreen, distant) _

Do I need an explanation?- Fine. My little sister had a bad panic attack last night, she's not sleeping at all and I think she's depressed, so I want to look after her. For  _ one _ day.

CHARLIE frowns suddenly. She slowly gets out of bed and tugs on her hoodie, listening intently to LILY.

LILY  _ (offscreen, distant) _

…Okay, as long as it's paid. …Okay. See you tomorrow. Bye.

CHARLIE walks over to the door and opens it to see LILY leaning on the opposite wall. She looks slightly surprised.

LILY

You're up?

CHARLIE nods, rubbing her eyes.

CHARLIE

What's the time?

LILY checks her phone.

LILY

About half 11.

CHARLIE’s eyes widen, and she darts back into her room, quickly trying to find clothes.

CHARLIE  _ (worried) _

Fuck- Why didn’t you wake me up?-

LILY pulls her back and turns her around so she’s facing her.

LILY  _ (concerned) _

Charlie-

CHARLIE ignores her, looking more and more worried, her breathing quickening.

CHARLIE  _ (worried) _

If I head to school now- I should be there by 12- I’ll get there halfway through my free so I can go and-

LILY  _ (authoritarian) _

Charlie!

CHARLIE abruptly cuts off, surprised at LILY’s unusually strict tone. LILY starts to take deep breaths, gesturing to CHARLIE to do the same. CHARLIE repeats her; until she’s finally breathing properly again.

LILY

Better?

CHARLIE hugs LILY without a word. LILY initially looks surprised; then gently strokes her hair, looking slightly sad.

LILY  _ (v/o) _

Jacques phoned Greenhill when he got up. Let them know you weren’t coming in.

Cut to LILY sitting on the floor beside CHARLIE’s bed, CHARLIE curled up under her duvet.

CHARLIE

Why?

LILY sighs.

LILY

Charlie. Look at yourself.

CHARLIE brings her hands out from under the duvet and looks at them. She doesn’t like this version of herself; but she doesn’t like the CHARLIE she was before.

CHARLIE

Mm.

Beat. LILY gets up, dusting off her skirt.

LILY

So… I’ll wake you up for lunch.

CHARLIE

I’m not hungry.

LILY frowns, concerned.

LILY

You have to eat something.

CHARLIE buries herself further into the duvet, not caring.

CHARLIE

Mm.

LILY

...And me and Luke might head up to Jacques’ place this afternoon. If you feel like coming.

CHARLIE pokes her head out from under the duvet.

CHARLIE

Luke?

LILY nods.

LILY

He wasn’t having the best time this morning either. You know how he gets those big panic attacks, every couple of months, the ones that really wipe him out?...

CHARLIE nods, and LILY winces.

LILY

...Yeah.

CHARLIE

Mm.

LILY smiles reassuringly at her, quickly grabbing her phone before she leaves the room. She hovers in the doorway.

LILY

Oh, and… I made you an appointment with my doctor. It’s at 11 on Thursday.

CHARLIE frowns, but she can’t be bothered to ask why. LILY smiles at her again.

LILY

Things’ll get better, Charlie.

CHARLIE

Mm.

LILY leaves the room, shutting the door behind her. CHARLIE watches the door for a second. Footsteps can be heard disappearing down the stairs. She rests her head back on her pillow, simultaneously tired and awake.


	3. TEXT UPDATE 27

**WhatsApp** \- 103 new messages from “ 𝓰𝓻𝓮𝔀 " (grew); 20 new messages from “charlotte may "top" walters"

**Instagram** \- @Marwa_In_Red; 8 new messages

* * *

**Instagram Direct Message** from @xx_JazzyW_xx

* * *

hi

saphy explained to me what happened last night

are you ok??

its okay to say youre not you know

im just really concerned about you

okay so youre reading my messages thats good

can you just give me an emoji or something?

to show youre still there

i dont mind what it is

🦊

🦊 :))

im always here if you want to talk <33


	4. Wednesday 08.30 - Never Alone

INT. The main hallway of Greenhill High School. A group of lower-school students pass by before we see CHARLIE behind them, walking slowly, tired and bored already. A notification goes off on her phone, and she retrieves it from her pocket.

_ iMessage; Lily: Appointment booked! _

_ Lily: I only managed to get one for you tomorrow morning but Jacques said he’ll run you up there _

CHARLIE stares at it for a moment, then slowly types and sends a reply.

_ Okay _

She hears footsteps in front of her, and she looks up. JASMINE is standing in front of her, smiling fondly at her. She holds out her arms, and CHARLIE hugs her tightly.

JASMINE  _ (carefully) _

Are you okay?

CHARLIE goes to say something, then stops herself. She shakes her head.

CHARLIE

Not really, no.

JASMINE nods, solemn. They pull apart, JASMINE putting her hands on her shoulders.

JASMINE

It’s gonna get better, okay?

CHARLIE nods. JASMINE takes her hands off her shoulders, and smiles at her again. Beat.

CHARLIE  _ (slightly self-conscious) _

Uh… Where are the others?

JASMINE turns around, and gestures towards KATIE’s locker - where SAPHY, ATARAH and ELLA are standing, all smiling at them. CHARLIE heads over to them, JASMINE following.

CHARLIE  _ (slightly self-conscious) _

Um… Hi.

They nod at her, all making some sort of murmur of greetings.

SAPHY  _ (carefully) _

Feeling any better?

CHARLIE shrugs.

CHARLIE

…Good enough to come into school, I guess.

SAPHY nods, solemn, understanding.

ELLA  _ (carefully) _

…What happened the other week?

CHARLIE’s face falls again, and she sighs.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

Lou, um… Something bad happened with her. Like… bad-bad.

ELLA and ATARAH nod, solemn, getting the severity of the situation.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

And we barely got in contact with each other all week, but… She sent this really worrying text on Sunday. And I did manage to find her, but… She ended up in hospital again. And I don’t know how she is at all, and it’s just fucking stressing me out so much.

ATARAH nods again.

ATARAH

Manic episode?

CHARLIE shrugs.

CHARLIE

I think so, yeah-

She abruptly cuts off, turning to ATARAH, confused.

CHARLIE  _ (slightly confused, surprised) _

How’d you know?

ATARAH’s eyes widen.

ATARAH  _ (vaguely) _

Oh- We went to the same middle school. I was in her form some years.

CHARLIE nods, not quite believing her but not bothering to question her further.

ELLA  _ (reassuring) _

She’s gonna be okay.

She looks at CHARLIE with a smile.

ELLA

_ You’re  _ gonna be okay.

CHARLIE’s face falls, conflicted. The others look slightly confused and worried. Beat.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

…It’s not just that.

She takes a deep breath.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

It’s just… I don’t feel like myself anymore.

She laughs humourlessly.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

I don’t even know what myself is supposed to feel like anymore. ...I just don’t know.

The others nod, solemn. ELLA holds out her arms.

ELLA

C’mon. Again.

CHARLIE hugs her, the others following so they’re all in one giant group hug. 

ELLA

You know you can always talk to us, right?

CHARLIE nods, making a vague sound of affirmation.

SAPHY

You’re never alone, you know that?

CHARLIE

I know.

SAPHY smiles slightly, hugging the others tighter. Beat.

TOBY  _ (offscreen, slightly self-conscious) _

Um… Jasmine?

JASMINE smiles to herself, content.

JASMINE

Mm, not right now.

TOBY  _ (offscreen, slightly self-conscious) _

I just thought you’d want your revision books back before Maths?

JASMINE abruptly tears apart from the girls, blushing. She turns around to see TOBY nervously hovering beside her. The others follow her, confused.

JASMINE  _ (self-conscious) _

Oh, um- yeah, sure.

Beat. TOBY laughs awkwardly, and holds them out to her. She accepts them.

TOBY  _ (self-conscious) _

Uh, thanks for helping me revise.

JASMINE nods.

JASMINE  _ (self-conscious) _

Yeah, it’s… it’s all good. Thanks for letting me help you revise.

SAPHY looks over at CHARLIE, confused. CHARLIE raises an eyebrow, smiling slightly.

TOBY  _ (self-conscious) _

I’ll see you in Business?

JASMINE  _ (self-conscious) _

Yeah, uh… I’ll see you then.

TOBY smiles shyly as he walks away. The girls watch him walk away; then abruptly burst into conversation as he leaves.

SAPHY / ELLA / ATARAH / CHARLIE  _ (surprised) _

You  _ do  _ like him! /  _ Toby _ ?! / What?! / You helped him revise?

JASMINE laughs, blushing.

JASMINE  _ (self-conscious) _

Shut up!

ATARAH  _ (reasoning) _

It’s not like he’s gonna hear you!

JASMINE rolls her eyes.

JASMINE  _ (reasoning) _

But still…

The others laugh. CHARLIE nudges JASMINE, smiling fondly.

CHARLIE

Jasmine. He’s absolutely whipped for you.  _ Please  _ just ask him out already.

SAPHY nods; then abruptly turns to JASMINE, surprised.

SAPHY  _ (surprised) _

You told her first?

JASMINE  _ (reasoning) _

We’re sisters!

ELLA smirks, looking over at CHARLIE.

ELLA

How long?

CHARLIE

Mm, give or take a month.

JASMINE flips CHARLIE off, and they all laugh.  _ Papercuts  _ by The Samphires start to play as they start to walk off together.

SAPHY

No, Jasmine, you  _ have  _ to tell us more-

JASMINE jabs CHARLIE playfully.

JASMINE  _ (slightly annoyed, fondly) _

Why did you tell them that?!

CHARLIE shrugs.

CHARLIE  _ (joking) _

Fun?

The girls laugh again, as they disappear offscreen.


	5. Thursday 11.07 - Scale Of 1-10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Referenced disordered eating is marked with %, and discussions of self-harm and suicidal ideation are marked together with !. Stay safe y'all <3

INT. The waiting room of a doctor’s surgery.  _ Papercuts _ by The Samphires continues to play. CHARLIE is sitting on one of the chairs, fidgeting with her phone, slightly nervous. JACQUES sits next to her. Beat-

RECEPTIONIST  _ (offscreen) _

Charlotte Walters to Room 5, please.

CHARLIE looks down at her feet. JACQUES holds out a hand to her. CHARLIE takes it, and looks up at him. He smiles sympathetically. CHARLIE takes a deep breath, squeezing his hand; then drops it and gets up, walking out-of-shot.

Cut to INT. Treatment Room 5. CHARLIE hovers slightly outside the doorway of the room, holding the door open, watching the doctor - a Black young man - finish typing something on his computer. The music fades out as he looks up and sees her, mildly surprised.

DR KAMAU

Charlotte Walters?

CHARLIE nods.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

Sorry sir- I wasn’t sure whether to knock or just come in or… 

The doctor nods.

DR KAMAU

It’s fine. I’m Doctor Kamau. Come in, sit down.

CHARLIE enters the room, leaving the door open slightly behind her; then takes a seat in front of DR KAMAU’s desk. He looks over at his computer again, then back to CHARLIE.

DR KAMAU

So, Lily scheduled this appointment with me to talk about your mental health? Correct?

CHARLIE nods, slightly self-conscious.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

Yeah, um… I've been finding it difficult to sleep. And people, um, think I'm depressed.

DR KAMAU nods.

DR KAMAU  _ (carefully) _

Do  _ you  _ think you're depressed?

CHARLIE sighs, conflicted.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

...I don't know. I know there's  _ something  _ wrong with me, but… I don't know.

DR KAMAU nods, retrieving a sheet of paper from the side of his desk.

DR KAMAU

I'm gonna ask you some questions now, and you respond to them on a scale of 1-10, okay?

CHARLIE nods; DR KAMAU looks back at the paper.

DR KAMAU

So, how do you feel on your best days at the moment? 1 being the worst, 10 being the best.

CHARLIE shrugs.

CHARLIE

Um… probably around 5 or 6.

DR KAMAU makes a note on the paper.

DR KAMAU

...And how do you feel on your worst days at the moment?

CHARLIE stares down at her feet, self-conscious.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

2.

DR KAMAU nods, solemn, and males another note.

DR KAMAU

Okay… So you said you were having some problems with sleeping. How much sleep would you say you get on average?

CHARLIE shrugs.

CHARLIE

Between… 5 to 3 hours. I don't know.

DR KAMAU makes another note.

DR KAMAU

Do you think there's any reason why?

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

I get these nightmares. It started off maybe 2, 3 times a week, and I didn't sleep because I didn't want them to happen… But now it's almost like I can't sleep. And every time I do they happen.

DR KAMAU nods, making another note.

DR KAMAU  _ (carefully) _

And what are these nightmares about, if you're comfortable sharing? Are they recurring? Any common themes?

CHARLIE hesitates for a second, conflicted - then shakes her head. DR KAMAU nods, smiling reassuringly.

DR KAMAU

...Are you having any problems with eating?

**%**

CHARLIE

Not really.

DR KAMAU

Not really?

CHARLIE shifts awkwardly.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

...Sometimes on my worst days I don't feel like eating. I don't really feel  _ anything _ , to be honest- I don't know.

**%**

DR KAMAU nods, and makes another note.

**!**

DR KAMAU  _ (carefully) _

What about any thoughts about… wanting to hurt yourself? Or death?

CHARLIE frowns. Beat.

CHARLIE  _ (reasoning, slightly self-conscious) _

But… that’s normal, isn’t it? To feel like that.

DR KAMAU frowns, clearly concerned.

DR KAMAU

That’s never normal, Charlie.

CHARLIE frowns.

CHARLIE  _ (reasoning) _

But… I see people joking about it all the time. On Instagram and stuff like that.

DR KAMAU nods, solemn.

DR KAMAU

Well yes, that might  _ seem  _ normal - but that’s their way of dealing with those thoughts. And they should be using appropriate warnings and descriptions to avoid other people from being influenced.

CHARLIE nods, and DR KAMAU returns to his paper.

DR KAMAU

...So that’s a yes? And to which?

CHARLIE nods, taking a deep, shaky breath.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

Both.

DR KAMAU nods, concerned, and makes a note.

DR KAMAU  _ (carefully) _

...And have you ever acted on them?

CHARLIE shakes her head firmly. DR KAMAU smiles reassuringly.

DR KAMAU

Well, I’m proud of you.

CHARLIE smiles slightly, self-conscious.

DR KAMAU

But don’t beat yourself up if you do. It’s an addiction, you know, and there’s always ways to stop things before they get too bad.

CHARLIE nods again.

**!**

DR KAMAU

...And is there anything going on at the moment that we should know about? At home? At school?

CHARLIE hesitates again - then shakes her head firmly. DR KAMAU nods, and makes a final note before setting his pen down.

DR KAMAU

Okay, so it looks like you fit the criteria for a CAMHS reference. You know what I mean by that?

CHARLIE nods.

DR KAMAU

You should get some face-to-face therapy sessions, and maybe a formal diagnosis and some medication. Obviously the waiting lists for this sort of thing is very long, so you might want to consider going private. And…

He turns around in his chair, and rummages around in his desk; before retrieving a pamphlet and setting it down in front of Charlie.

DR KAMAU

Here’s a list of useful apps as well.

CHARLIE nods.

CHARLIE

Thank you, Dr Kamau.

DR KAMAU shrugs.

DR KAMAU

This  _ is _ my job.

CHARLIE stifles a laugh, smiling.

DR KAMAU

Just one last thing… Is there anything I could add that might help to bring your waiting list place forward?

CHARLIE stares at the ground for a second, conflicted. Pause. She looks up, self-conscious.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

Um, actually… There is.

DR KAMAU gives her an encouraging look. CHARLIE takes a deep breath.


	6. Thursday 14.13 - Be Brave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Discussions of financial and physical abuse are both marked with !.

EXT. The courtyard of Greenhill High School. The front gates open, and CHARLIE tentatively walks through. She pulls her hoodie closer to herself as she walks, almost ashamed of her vulnerability.

Cut to INT. The main hallway. CHARLIE continues to walk down the hallway. She stops, and goes over to her locker. She rests against it, tilting her head back and closing her eyes. Beat.

MARWA

Charlie?

CHARLIE jolts upright, opening her eyes, panicking slightly. She looks over and sees MARWA hovering by her own locker.

CHARLIE  _ (slightly self-conscious) _

Uh, hi.

MARWA nods, slightly confused.

MARWA

…I didn’t see you in Science this morning.

CHARLIE smiles awkwardly.

CHARLIE  _ (bluffing, slightly self-conscious) _

I was, um… busy.

MARWA nods, only half believing her. Beat.

CHARLIE  _ (slightly self-conscious) _

...I should, um, probably head to Maths.

MARWA nods, slightly confused.

MARWA

You know there’s only, like, 5 minutes left until PE?

CHARLIE goes to say something, then stops herself. Beat. She sighs, giving in.

Cut to EXT. The courtyard. MARWA and CHARLIE walk across the courtyard slowly.

MARWA

You know that girl I told you and Tara about?

CHARLIE

Yeah?

MARWA _(slightly self-conscious)_

I, um… I kind of made a move?

CHARLIE raises her eyebrows, as MARWA blushes.

CHARLIE

Really?

MARWA

I only really asked her if she listened to Girl In Red.

CHARLIE

And?

MARWA smiles awkwardly.

MARWA  _ (air-quotes) _

“Who’s she?”

CHARLIE smiles sympathetically.

CHARLIE

Shit.

MARWA

Yeah.

CHARLIE  _ (reassuring) _

...She could just be a really uncultured wlw?

MARWA laughs, and CHARLIE smiles at her.

CHARLIE

You’ll get a girlfriend in the end.

MARWA frowns.

MARWA  _ (casually) _

Did you not mean, you’ll get a wife in the end?

CHARLIE laughs.

CHARLIE

Big dreamer.

MARWA

Well, when you’re dating for marriage…

CHARLIE shrugs. Beat.

MARWA  _ (slightly self-conscious) _

Um, is it okay if I ask you something kind of personal?

CHARLIE frowns, confused.

CHARLIE  _ (slightly confused) _

Okay.

MARWA

It’s just… When you said Allah wasn’t real, what did you mean?

CHARLIE’s face falls, conflicted, and she stops in her tracks. MARWA stops next to her, slightly confused.

MARWA  _ (slightly self-conscious) _

If it’s okay?-

CHARLIE  _ (quickly, bluffing) _

No, it’s okay. It’s nothing.

MARWA nods. Beat. CHARLIE sighs, making her choice.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

Actually, is it okay if, um… I kind of need a vent?

MARWA nods, still slightly confused.

MARWA  _ (slightly confused) _

Okay.

CHARLIE takes a deep, shaky breath. Pause.

CHARLIE

My mam was abusive.

MARWA looks concerned. CHARLIE stares at the ground as the words keep on coming, almost unable to stop herself.

**!**

CHARLIE

It wasn’t that obvious at first, but I was the first one to notice… She turned Dad into a different person. She took over the family business, kept giving him unpaid overtime, fired him eventually… Got it into his head that he was delusional for thinking that. I’d hear them arguing every night, it worried me so much… Jasmine wouldn’t fucking do anything. I get that she was worried too, but… Fuck, I dunno. She’d always weaponize our relation and religion to stop me speaking out. And Dad still goes on, acts like it was God’s will that it happened in his life… I lied about that. I do believe in God. But I don’t want to. It’s almost… society doesn’t want to admit women can be abusers. It’s fucking bullshit.

MARWA stares at her, even more concerned.

MARWA  _ (slightly worried) _

But she never laid a hand on any of you?

CHARLIE lets out another shaky breath. MARWA’s face falls.

CHARLIE

Um… in March. They had this big argument, bigger than any of the others I remembered. And I, um, I went to keep an eye on things like usual… and Dad has these suitcases. And he’s saying he can’t do it anymore. And Mam just… wasn’t having it. At all. He- He tries to leave, like properly leave, and… Just out of nowhere. She just keeps hitting him. And Jasmine’s here by now, we’re both screaming at her to stop… She got distracted by us. And Dad, he sees his chance and takes it, he goes to leave… But she sees him again, and she goes to hurt him again, and I stepped in to stop her and… And…

She can’t say it. MARWA looks extremely worried by now. CHARLIE lets out a shaky breath, and pulls a tissue out of her pocket. She runs it along her nose, and her foundation comes off - revealing an almost unnoticeable diagonal scar. MARWA’s face falls again. CHARLIE laughs humourlessly.

**!**

CHARLIE

...Yeah.

Beat. MARWA holds her arms out, uncertain; and CHARLIE collapses into them, holding onto her tightly.

MARWA

I’m so sorry, Charlie.

CHARLIE

You never knew.

MARWA

Doesn’t mean I’m not sorry.

CHARLIE smiles slightly, and they pull apart.

MARWA

...You have told someone, right?

CHARLIE shrugs.

CHARLIE

…I, um, I had a doctor’s appointment today. About my mental health. I told him, so… Yeah. It’ll probably get logged for safeguarding now.

MARWA nods, solemn. Beat.

MARWA

It’s a right bitch.

CHARLIE looks slightly confused.

CHARLIE

My mam?

MARWA shakes her head.

MARWA

Nah… Depression. Anxiety. PTSD. The works.

CHARLIE frowns.

CHARLIE

But… That’s a soldier’s thing. PTSD, I mean.

MARWA shakes her head.

MARWA

Nah, and that’s typically the shit doctors try to pull as well. You have to learn to stick up for yourself with this stuff.

CHARLIE nods, still slightly confused.

MARWA

Nightmares, flashbacks, sleep paralysis, depression, thinking you’ll become your abuser… That’s not worth living through. Trust me.

CHARLIE’s face falls, realizing - then does a double-take as another realization hits her.

CHARLIE

You as well?

MARWA shakes her head.

MARWA

Cousin. Messed-up stuff at his last school.

CHARLIE nods, solemn.

MARWA

But I’m here if you need me.

CHARLIE nods, smiling.

CHARLIE

Thanks.

MARWA shrugs, smiling sheepishly.

MARWA

...Just don’t pull the walking encyclopedia shit.

CHARLIE frowns, confused, and MARWA laughs. She nudges her shoulder.

MARWA

Just don’t hide yourself. Be brave. And don’t let anyone call you a coward.

The bell rings as CHARLIE’s face falls again, and she stops in her tracks. MARWA nods in the direction of the PE block.

MARWA

You coming?

CHARLIE

I’ll catch you up.

MARWA nods, saluting her, then walks off. CHARLIE moves to the side of the courtyard as it starts to fill with students, retrieving her phone from her pocket. She types out a message - we don’t see who it’s to. She hesitates for a moment, conflicted, before sending it.

_ Can we meet up? _

A reply comes quickly.

_?? _

CHARLIE takes a deep breath, then types and sends another message.

_ I want to talk about us. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW summary:  
> Charlie talks about how her mother financially abused her father, and she was always the one to witness their arguments. She also mentions how Jasmine weaponized their relationship and religion against her to stop her speaking up; and, as a result, has a complicated relationship with religion. Marwa asks if Mrs Walters ever physically abused them. Charlie hesitates for a second, before confessing that her mother physically abused her father when he tried to escape her; then Charlie herself when she tried to stand up for him.


	7. Friday 15.37 - A Shit Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Discussions of outing are marked with %.

EXT. The Links. CHARLIE sits on a bench, fiddling with her phone, ignoring the wind messing her hair up. Beat. Someone can be heard approaching the bench, and CHARLIE tenses. She doesn’t look at them, but she knows who it is instantly.

The scene cuts out to a wider shot; VIA is sitting next to CHARLIE, hair perfectly controlled under her beret, staring ahead at the ocean. Pause.

CHARLIE

Hi.

Beat. CHARLIE smiles awkwardly to herself.

CHARLIE _(slightly self-conscious)_

Good we got out early, right? First half-term done?

VIA sighs, rolling her eyes, and gets up. CHARLIE’s eyes widen, panicking.

CHARLIE _(reasoning)_

Violet- !

VIA abruptly turns around, blushing, caught off-guard. CHARLIE smiles sheepishly.

CHARLIE

Wait?

Beat. VIA sits back down with a sigh.

VIA _(slightly irritable)_

Alright, Charlie. I’m listening.

CHARLIE stares at the horizon, self-conscious. She laughs slightly to herself, humourless.

CHARLIE

Do you remember us?

She smiles, although we can clearly see the pain behind her eyes.

CHARLIE

I mean… Was there even an us? Were we meant to last beyond that hookup?

VIA’s face falls, conflicted. CHARLIE sighs.

CHARLIE

You just seemed so… cool to me. You with those clothes and your religion and that fucking beret-

VIA touches her beret, slightly confused-

CHARLIE

-You seemed so confident in yourself. I thought you were a god. ‘Cause all I really saw was the thrill of everything, making out at the back of the party, saying we were just friends when we were more, when you’d tell me what you’d do to me when we were really alone…

CHARLIE pauses for a second, blushing hard as she remembers - then abruptly shakes herself, forcing the thoughts away.

CHARLIE

And I didn’t want that to be public. I didn’t want to admit to myself I wasn’t straight. I wanted to think I had everything under control.

VIA hesitates for a moment, then nods.

CHARLIE

But again… That didn’t excuse the way I treated you. Especially in the end. ‘Cause I know I was a shit… whatever I was to you. But I was a shit friend too.

Beat. CHARLIE looks conflicted, hesitating for a long moment - then gives in.

CHARLIE

But you know that how you treated me wasn’t right as well.

VIA sighs irritably, scowling slightly. CHARLIE glances across at her, raising an eyebrow. Pause. VIA frowns slightly to herself, defeated, slumping into the bench.

VIA _(reasoning)_

…I just wanted you to be yourself. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to hide. And I know there’s still bad people around, but… It’s 2020. In just over 2 months time it’s gonna be 2021. And things are gonna get more and more better as time goes on.

CHARLIE nods, finally turning to look at her fully. VIA laughs awkwardly, humourless.

VIA

…But yeah, threatening to out you wasn’t the way to do that.

CHARLIE nods again, a mutual understanding finally starting to form. Beat.

VIA _(casually)_

You know, your homophobic insults weren’t that creative.

CHARLIE shrugs.

CHARLIE

Well, I did steal them from my mam…

VIA laughs, turning to look at CHARLIE. CHARLIE hangs her head again.

CHARLIE _(self-conscious)_

I’m so sorry for everything.

VIA shrugs.

VIA

…It’s in the past now.

CHARLIE nods, looking out at the horizon again. A child’s kite can be seen from the boardwalk, orange and pink and white. CHARLIE shrugs, sighing gently.

CHARLIE

I wasn’t really in a good place back then, mentally.

VIA raises an eyebrow, half-judging, and CHARLIE laughs awkwardly.

CHARLIE

I didn’t mean it in an excuse way! More like… I’m trying to come to terms with everything more. Like… Everything that’s happened in the last 6 months. Not internalizing everything about Mam. Getting out of thinking I can just go on being the way I am and expecting people to like me. And, um… Being- Realizing-

CHARLIE looks down, self-conscious. VIA gives her an encouraging smile. Pause. CHARLIE looks up, letting out a shaky breath.

CHARLIE

I’m a lesbian.

VIA smiles proudly. Beat. CHARLIE lets out a long breath, smiling nervously.

CHARLIE _(nervous)_

Fuck, that’s the first time I’ve said that out loud.

VIA laughs.

VIA

You’ll get used to it.

She nudges CHARLIE, smirking.

VIA _(joking)_

Welcome to the wlw club.

CHARLIE laughs.

CHARLIE _(laughing)_

Don’t tell me that’s an actual thing!

VIA  _ (joking, deadpan) _

Weekly meetings on Fridays and the occasional orgies.

CHARLIE laughs again, VIA joining in. Beat.

CHARLIE

Can we try again? As friends?

VIA grins.

VIA

Fuck yeah.

CHARLIE smiles fondly at her.

CHARLIE

Fuck yeah.

They smile at each other for a moment.

VIA

I’m having a party tomorrow night if you wanna come. Super chill, I’ve only invited 9 or 10 people, you don’t have to dress up if you want.

She nudges CHARLIE playfully.

VIA

You can bring your girlfriend if you want.

CHARLIE’s face falls for a moment, but she quickly smiles again.

CHARLIE

It’ll just be me, but yeah.

VIA nods, slightly concerned, but not bothering to ask further. Pause. CHARLIE smiles to herself, blushing slightly. VIA raises an eyebrow.

VIA

What?

CHARLIE

...Did you mean it when you said you’d do those things?

VIA shoves her playfully, appalled.

VIA _(joking)_

I am a good religious child!

CHARLIE shoves her back, laughing.


	8. TEXT UPDATE 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you see me adding more content to this next week: no you didn't <33

**WhatsApp messages** from "charlotte may "top" walters"

* * *

**Ella** renamed group “charlotte may “top” walters” to “spooky time 🎃”

**Jasmine** : HALF TERM F I N A L L Y

**Jasmine** : WAHOO

**Ella** : 🥳

Wahoo

What are yous planning for halloween

**Saphy** : Me and Jasmine are watching the best movie ever

**Jasmine** : saphy im sorry but jennifers body is not the best movie ever

**Saphy** : No ❤️

**Ella** : fghdgfjgdfgj

**Ella** : skye wants to go to some roller disco thing so yay me

**Atarah** : Aww Ella :(

**Atarah** : You could always come to ours? Ehud’s organized a party for the cousins

**Ella** : thanks tara

**Ella** : but she’s dead set and mum and dad are supposedly giving me extra pocket money

**Jasmine** : you got any plans charlie??

Via invited me to a party

**Ella** : WAIT A MINUTE

**Ella** : NOT VIA VIA

Fbhjdsgfkdgjk

I’m pretty sure we only know one Via

**Jasmine** : h o w

We talked after school and made up

**Atarah** : Great

**Saphy** : ^^^ ❤️

**Ella** : what is it with you and the red heart saphy

**Saphy** : Ma’am that’s my emotional support emoji


	9. Saturday 19.54 - Halloween

EXT. Monkseaton.  _ Halloween  _ by Phoebe Bridgers plays as the scene opens with shots of the local area; some featuring Halloween decorations, others not.

Cut to EXT. Marine Avenue as the first verse starts. CHARLIE walks down the street, slightly nervous, dressed in an ad-hoc angel costume. She looks up at all the overly decorated houses, remembering her childhood home again. She’s clearly conflicted; unsure whether she’s glad she got away, or whether she just wants to go back to her childhood.

Cut to EXT. Cliftonville Gardens. CHARLIE slowly approaches a house with a glow-in-the-dark skeleton taped to a slightly ajar door. She quickly checks her phone, then heads down the path, entering the house.

Cut to INT. Via’s living room as the chorus starts. The room is slightly cramped, but still cozy. Various other people we recognize - RICHA, BALWINDER, AIDEN, MARWA, MAGDA - can be seen around the room, talking and drinking and generally having fun. CHARLIE looks around, taking in the atmosphere; before VIA, dressed as a woodlandish witch, approaches her.

VIA

You came!

The music continues to play into the background, fading in with the conversation, as CHARLIE laughs self-consciously.

CHARLIE

Yeah… Sorry I’m late.

VIA shrugs.

VIA

It’s cool. The costume’s cute.

CHARLIE smiles, ducking her head self-consciously.

CHARLIE

Thanks. Same for yours.

VIA smirks, adjusting her skirt slightly.

VIA

...Just honoring my ancestors.

CHARLIE laughs, shooting her finger-guns. VIA grins, pointing towards the door as she starts to walk off slowly.

VIA

Want a drink?

CHARLIE nods, starting to head further into the room.

CHARLIE

Just a coke or something if you have that!

VIA gives her a thumbs-up as she disappears into the hallway. CHARLIE smiles, and turns around to see BALWINDER, MADDI and MARWA sitting on a sofa, talking together. MADDI - in a black dress and cat ears - looks up and sees her, and grins.

MADDI

Charlie!

MARWA - wearing normal clothes and deely boppers with eyes - and BALWINDER - in a blonde wig and with cat whisker makeup - turn to look at her, surprised. CHARLIE smiles, waving awkwardly.

MARWA

Hey, didn’t know you were coming!

CHARLIE shrugs.

CHARLIE

Last minute invite.

BALWINDER moves over slightly, then gestures to the empty space beside them.

BALWINDER

M’lady.

CHARLIE laughs, and takes off her wings before sitting down next to them.

CHARLIE

Thanks, Balwinder-

CHARLIE abruptly cuts off, taking in their outfit.

CHARLIE

Who are you meant to be?

BALWINDER shrugs, casually folding their arms.

BALWINDER

Circa-2016 fangirl white girl!

CHARLIE bursts out laughing, as do the others. VIA returns with two cups, looking slightly confused.

VIA

Do I get context?

MARWA

No.

VIA shrugs.

VIA

Fair.

She perches on the arm of the sofa, handing CHARLIE one of the cups.

CHARLIE

Thanks.

VIA

No problem.

MADDI giggles, finishing her drink.

MADDI

And I’m a cat!

VIA raises an eyebrow.

VIA

No more drinks.

MADDI looks incredulous.

MADDI

I’m not drunk!

VIA and MARWA exchange a Look, stifling a laugh. CHARLIE awkwardly raises a hand.

CHARLIE

You, Marwa?

MARWA shrugs.

MARWA

Myself with-

_ (points to Deely Boppers) _ -these?

BALWINDER shrugs.

BALWINDER

Fair.

MARWA looks over to CHARLIE, smirking.

MARWA

And the angel girl.

CHARLIE ducks her head, blushing slightly.

CHARLIE _(slightly self-conscious)_

It was the easiest costume I could do.

VIA smiles, taking a sip of her drink.

VIA

Hey, is Lou coming? I DMed her, but she didn't get back to me.

CHARLIE’s face falls, and she stares down at her feet.

MADDI  _ (slightly concerned) _

Charlie?

Beat.

CHARLIE

…I don’t think so.

MARWA frowns, slightly concerned.

MARWA

You broke up?

CHARLIE shakes her head.

CHARLIE

No! Never, just… She… 

She hesitates for a moment, conflicted. The others look concerned.

CHARLIE

I don’t really think I should say. But I know she’s safe.

MADDI sighs in relief, and the others look slightly more relieved. CHARLIE slumps back into the sofa, sighing.

CHARLIE

I’m just worried about her.

BALWINDER nods.

VIA

But hey - she’s safe, okay? Try not to worry about it too much.

CHARLIE smiles nervously, relaxing slightly.  _ Calling All The Monsters _ by China Anne McClain starts to play loudly, and MADDI grins.

MADDI

‘Cause it’s fucking party time!

CHARLIE rolls her eyes fondly as people woop, some getting up to dance. She goes to take a sip of her drink - before her phone starts to vibrate in her pocket. She takes it out and looks at the caller ID, confused. Unknown. She puts her drink down on the floor, and gets up, heading out of the room. MARWA looks over at her.

MARWA

Hey, you okay?

CHARLIE nods, almost fully out the door.

CHARLIE

Just got to take this.

MARWA nods, and CHARLIE leaves the room.

Cut to INT. The hallway of Via’s house. CHARLIE quickly accepts the call, closing the living room door behind her. The music can be heard slightly, muffled and almost all bass.

CHARLIE  _ (quickly, surprised) _

Is this Cramlington Hospital?

RAFA  _ (confused) _

What?

CHARLIE cringes, leaning back against the wall.

CHARLIE  _ (self-conscious) _

Sorry… Who is this?

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

Um… It’s Rafael. Eloisa’s brother. You’ve probably heard her talking about me.

CHARLIE stifles a laugh, remembering.

CHARLIE

Yeah…

Her eyes widen suddenly, alert.

CHARLIE  _ (worried) _

Wait, why are you calling?

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

I thought you might want an update. Since, you know… You’re the one that found her and everything.

CHARLIE nods, relaxing slightly.

CHARLIE

She’s safe?

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

She’s at home with us.

CHARLIE sighs in relief.

CHARLIE 

Where is she? Mentally?

RAFA ( _ v/o, slightly worried) _

Depressive. She gets them really bad, there’s nothing really we can do for her…

He sighs.

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

She’s been asking after you, you know.

CHARLIE’s eyes widen again, surprised.

CHARLIE  _ (slightly surprised) _

Really?

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

Yeah. You know how much you mean to her, don’t you?

CHARLIE nods, before realizing RAFA can’t see her.

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

She hasn’t been like this since she got together with Kai.

CHARLIE hesitates, conflicted. Beat.

CHARLIE  _ (carefully) _

Is it okay if I come over? Now?

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

Yeah, it should be fine. There’s just some things I need to tell you before.

CHARLIE

Can you tell me when I’m walking?

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

How far are you?

CHARLIE

Whitley Bay seafront, Spanish City area?

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

Sure.

CHARLIE smiles to herself, nervous yet excited.

CHARLIE

One sec.

She puts the call on hold, putting her phone back in her pocket, and enters the living room again. VIA, dancing with MADDY, looks towards the door at the sound, and heads over to CHARLIE.

VIA

Everything okay?

CHARLIE nods.

CHARLIE

I’m gonna talk to Lou.

MARWA  _ (offscreen, surprised) _

Wait, really?

CHARLIE turns around to see MARWA and MADDI hovering by the door, MADDI somehow looking tipsier than before. CHARLIE laughs awkwardly, quickly grabbing her wings from the sofa.

CHARLIE

Like, right now.

MARWA nods, impressed, MADDI cheers.

MADDI  _ (loudly) _

Good luck Lottie!

CHARLIE shakes her head fondly.

CHARLIE

Charlie, not Lottie.

MADDI  _ (loudly) _

Good luck Charlie!- Wait, isn’t that a TV show?

CHARLIE laughs as she quickly leaves the room, walking off-camera.  _ Somebody For Everything _ by The Palps starts to play, as-

Cut to EXT. Marine Avenue. CHARLIE takes the call off hold, holding tightly onto her wings.

CHARLIE  _ (v/o, slightly self-conscious) _

Sorry about that-

RAFA  _ (v/o, interrupting) _

Party?

CHARLIE  _ (v/o) _

Yeah, party. What was it that you wanted to say?

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

Just… A couple things to remember.

Cut to CHARLIE walking further up the street, back where we were at the start of the clip.

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

It’s never your fault for Lou having an episode, manic or depressive. She’s cyclothymic, it’s just something that happens. And it might seem like that, but… it’s the stress, really, that causes it.

Cut to EXT. Front Street. CHARLIE continues to walk past the shops as RAFA talks.

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

Cyclothymia’s not Bipolar as well. Lou usually doesn’t have manic episodes, just hypomanic, and they’re usually easier to handle for her… But she has had proper manic episodes before. And she can really crash if that happens.

Cut to EXT. Cauldwell Lane. CHARLIE continues to walk past houses and shops.

CHARLIE  _ (v/o, slightly concerned) _

…But what do I do when that happens? How can I help?

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

Nothing really, to be honest.

Cut to EXT. Earsdon Road. CHARLIE walks quickly in and out of shot, before returning and walking down a side street.

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

And it sucks, but… Just be there for her. And just take things minute by minute when things seem hopeless.

CHARLIE  _ (v/o, to herself) _

Minute by minute.

Cut to EXT. Lou’s house. CHARLIE hovers outside the door. RAFA opens it, and she nods at him before entering.

CHARLIE  _ (v/o) _

Thank you.

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

It’s fine.

Cut to INT. Lou’s house. The camera follows CHARLIE up the stairs and across the landing. CHARLIE hovers outside LOU’s door, and opens it slowly, peering through.

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

I just…

Cut to P.O.V CHARLIE - LOU is asleep, curled up in her duvet, frowning slightly.

RAFA  _ (v/o) _

I know you want to be there for her.

Cut back to CHARLIE. She watches LOU for a moment, almost recognizing herself in her.

CHARLIE  _ (v/o, confident) _

Yeah. I do.

She straightens up, more confident in herself-

Cut to credits as the music picks up.


End file.
